Link's Series Of Unfortunate Events
by liamdude5
Summary: Link, Aryll, and Tetra are left in the care of Count Gannondorf after Gramma dies. But, he's evil. What are three orphans caught in a series of unfortunate events to do? Rated K for action, crude humor, mild language, and mild romance.
1. A Bad Beginning

_First of all, I would have classified this story as a crossover, but I could not for the life of me find Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events in the books or movies._

_Second of all, this story takes place in the Wind Waker part of the Zelda timeline._

_Third of all, enjoy._

Picture happy music playing. A cheery forest. Birds chirping in the background. Happy bunnies and deers running around. Then, popping out of a tree, a happy little Deku leaf.

"Hello," the Deku lead greeted, "My name's Makar and I love you. Come frolic with me."

Makar then frolicked along the path leading from his house. He waved hello to some squirrels, bunnies, birds, deer, and a bear. He then proceeded to frolic along the path, playing his little leaf fiddle.

I am sorry to inform you that this is the exact opposite of the type of story that I will be telling you. The story I will be telling you involves death, sailboats, Zoras, pasta, quills, and Gramma's Soup. If you want to stop reading this and maybe read a Diary about a Wimpy Kid, then I would completely understand. But, if you think that you can stomach this, then continue on.

Hello. I am Shigeru Miyamoto and it is my sad duty to chronicle the events that transpire in the lives of the Hero of Time, Link, and all of his descendants. I've already covered the descendant whom could travel to the dark realm and the descendant whom possessed the Ocarina of Time and saved the land of Termina from Majora's Mask. But, today, I am discussing the descendant whom possessed the Wind Waker.

More specifically, him and his two sisters. Let's discuss them one by one.

Link. He was the middle child. He always wore those iconic green tights that the original Hero of Time wore. He was also crafty. He solved many a puzzles in many a dungeons. You could tell he was thinking when he took off his iconic green hat. He was a strategist. Always thinking outside the box to get himself out of sticky situations.

Then there was Aryll. She was the youngest. She was a pretty young woman. But, she also had brains behind her beauty. She had read many books in her Gramma's library. About nearly every possible subject.

Then there was Tetra/Zelda. She was actually adopted. Actually, nobody was really sure that Tetra was a she until they checked for themselves. Anyways, she used to be a pirate. But, Link and Aryll had taken a shining to Tetra. So, they invited her to join their family. She took a shining to them as well. So, she accepted. However, she still, in a way, kept her pirate nature. She still thieves on occasion. However, it was only small things and she would still return them and apologize.

Together, they were raised by Link and Aryll's Gramma. She lived them all very much.

Then, something happened. Something that made them ask questions. Questions like "Why are we on a beach," and "Why is a sophisticated looking talking sailboat sailing towards us?" When it finally reached the shore, Link, Aryll, and Tetra approached it.

"Hello children," the sailboat greeted, "I am King of Red Lions, the banker for your Gramma. And, it is my sad duty to inform you of an unfortunate event." The children were listening. "I am afraid that your Gramma's house burned down in a mysterious fire, taking her life."

The three children were completely blindsided by the news.

See what I mean? Pretty heavy stuff. If you want to stop reading now and read something more cheery, this is your chance. There's no turning back now.

Link, Aryll, and Tetra walked upon the burned down remains of their once home. Aryll was in tears and Link was stroking her back. Link and Tetra seemed fine on the outside, but on the inside, they were blubbering like Aryll.

Aryll and Tetra stayed in the living room, Tetra comforting Aryll. Link, on the other hand, had gone off to explore the remains of the house. In Gramma's room, Link found a box. And in that box, Link found a tiny telescope. Similar to the one Aryll have him for his birthday. This one, however, seemed to be coated in gold. Link decided to hold on to it in his pouch.

A short while later, Link, Aryll, and Tetra were sailing in the King of Red Lions.

"Well," King of Red Lions reassured, "Don't you children worry. You are going to be placed in the very caring hands of your beloved Count Gannondorf."

"We don't remember any Count Gannondorf," Link stated.

"Of course you do," King of Red Lions stated, "He's either your third cousin, twice removed, or your second cousin, thrice removed."

"Something's brain has been removed," Tetra mumbled.

"Tetra," Aryll scolded.

Not long after that conversation, King of Red Lions docked in front of an island with a cozy cottage on the shore. As Link, Aryll, and Tetra stepped out of King of Red Lions, a lady in her 50s stepped out of the cottage.

"Oh," the lady stated, "Who are you?"

"I'm Link," Link greeted.

"I'm Aryll," Aryll greeted.

"And I'm Tetra," Tetra greeted.

"We are here to live with Count Gannondorf," Link stated.

"Well," the lady greeted, "Hello there. I'm ."

"Hi ," the three children greeted.

"Well," stated, "Don't you three have such nice manners. You stop by and visit anytime you want."

"Wait," Link asked, "Visit? You don't live with Count Gannondorf?"

"Count Gannondorf," asked, "Oh no. He lives on the island just across from here."

points to an island harboring a scary looking house with bats flying around it and the tail of a sea serpent slithering on by.

"Let's sleep outside," Tetra suggested.

_Please review._


	2. Chez Gannondorf

_I hope that you enjoy this new chapter. But, first, I would like to apologize. My old YouTube review poll. Turns out that I accidentally didn't set it to be on my account. It was my first poll, so I didn't know what I was doing. I now posted a new poll, just a quick little fun question. Go check it out. Also, enjoy this chapter._

Link, Aryll, and Tetra walked up to Gannondorf's door, holding their suitcases. Gannndorf's door had a big eyeball on it. King of Red Lions was on the shore, close to them. Link then rang the doorbell. A peephole opened up in the center of the eyeball.

"Who is it," said a voice on the inside of the door.

"It's Link, Aryll, and Tetra," Link responded.

"Oh goody," said a voice on the inside of the door. Some latches then unlatched on the inside of the door. "Come in," the voice stated.

Link opened the door and held it open for Aryll and Tetra. The two of them then walked in and Link followed. They left the door open so King of Red Lions could supervise.

The foyer of Gannondorf's house was big. Quite bigger than Gramma's foyer.

"Hello hello hello," a voice said from the second floor of the foyer. Link, Aryll, and Tetra looked to see an African American human wearing a black robe.

"I am your beloved Count Gannondorf," the man stated. He then quickly slid along from the middle of the second floor to the railing on the side.

"Knit one pearl two," Gannondorf constantly repeated as he tiptoed to the stairs. He then started to climb down the stairs.

"Then I run down super man fast and the music becomes high and low," Gannondorf states as he climbs down and reaches the bottom of the stairs.

"Oh yeah," Gannondorf breathed, "That's what I live for."

Gannondorf then looked over the orphans.

"Ah," Gannondorf stated as he approached Link, "My dear little..." Gannondorf glanced at his hand to see a crude drawing of Link labeled "Link", a crude drawing of Aryll labeled "Aryll", and a crude drawing of Tetra, labeled "Oh, who cares?"

"Link," Gannondorf finished, "Gotten so big."

Gannondorf then approached Aryll. "And cute little Aryll," Gannondorf greeted, "Pretty as a picture."

Gannondorf then looks upon Tetra.

"And," Gannondorf stammers, "Who is this little boy?"

"I'm not a boy," Tetra growls, "I'm a girl. My name is Tetra."

"I'm sorry," Gannondorf growls, "I don't speak denial."

"I'm not in denial," Tetra yells, "I'm a lady. You can check!"

"OK than," Gannondorf continues, "You all seem glum. What's the deal?"

"Our Gramma just died," Link moaned.

"Ah yes," Gannondorf replied, "How sad. Wait, that's not good. Let me try once more. Give me the line again."

"Our Gramma just died," Link nervously stated.

"Oh my gosh," Gannondorf cried as he got on his knees, "Oh dear me. Why, gosh, why? How could you take such a dear woman so soon?! Now, of Red Lions, where is he?"

"Outside," Link answers.

"Then I must speak with him," Gannondorf states as he walks towards his door and sticks his head out of it, "Greetings of Red Lions."

"Greetings Count Gannondorf," King of Red Lions greets, "It is nice to meet you. I hope that you plan to take care of these kids."

"Oh," Gannondorf states, "How dare you." Gannondorf runs to Link, Aryll, and Tetra.

"Excuse me," King of Red Lions asks.

"You say it like it would be a burden to watch over these children," Gannondorf yells as he puts his arms around Link, Aryll, and Tetra, "Hurbaburb. Habalababalabababa. I will watch over these children as if they were my own. Because they were my own. Now, where do I sign for the fortune. I mean, children?"

"Well," King of Red Lions answered, "You won't actually gain possession of the children until the hearing about the new guardian of the children."

"Hmm," Gannondorf stated, "And what do I do with them until then?"

"Excuse me," King of Red Lions asked.

"Umm," Gannondorf stammered, "What I mean is, do you work out? You look good."

"I'm a boat," King of Red Lions stated, "I can't work out."

"Ah yes," Gannondorf replied, "Of course. Now, would you like me to bring you some tea and we could chat."

"Sure," King of Red Lions responded.

"Maybe some other time," Gannondorf announced as he ran towards the front door.

"Children," King of Red Lions yelled as Gannondorf shut the door, "Be sure to call if you need anything." After King of Red Lions said that, Gannondorf proceeded to lock his door. As of that point, the orphans were alone with their "beloved" Count Gannondorf_._

_I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Review, favorite, follow, blah, blah, blah._


	3. The Insert Last Name Here Orphans

_Alright. There's something I need tam quickly bring up before we begin. I have recently received a troll review on this story, just saying that I suck at spelling. Now, I have no problem with constructive criticism in a review, like, "I think that you could stand to improve your spelling," but I do not appreciate getting reviews that just say, "Your spelling sucks." Now, the person left his review anonymously, but just know that I will block you from my profile if I find out that you've been posting troll reviews. Just a warning. And now, your story._

So, there they were. Link, Aryll, and Tetra were standing in Count Gannondorf's foyer while he leaned against the door. They were staring at Gannondorf, waiting to see what he would do next. Eventually, he spoke.

"Now children," Gannondorf explained, "I know that my home isn't as homely as your Gramma's old home, but, I expect to come into a great deal of money soon. So, this home will soon look more different. But, as for this home now," Gannondorf began zooming his head towards Link, Aryll, and Tetra, "Shall we take a look?"

Without a response, Gannondorf started leading Link, Aryll, and Tetra around his house.

"This is the living room," Gannondorf stated, "Do not breathe in the air in here at exactly 3:33 AM and PM."

"This is the kitchen," Gannondorf stated, "I trust that you've had all of your vaccinations. Smallpox, malaria, shingles, dead syndrome."

"This is the rumpus room," Gannondorf stated, "None of you have any fears of spiders I presume?" Tetra shakes her head left and right.

"Huh," Gannondorf ponders, "A boy afraid of spiders. Who would've thought? Ahahahahaha."

"This is my theatre," Gannondorf stated, "I think Jane Goodall is somewhere in here. Not 100% sure though."

As Gannondorf leads the children through a hallway, Link notices a stairway leading upwards.

"What's that," Link asked, referring to the staircase.

"That's the spiraling staircase," Gannondorf answered, "You are never to go up there."

Then, Gannondorf got really close to the children's faces and said, "Under any circumstances." Gannondorf then continued walking forward, leaving the children with confused looks on their faces.

Finally, Gannondorf led the children to a room in the attic and shoved them inside.

"And this is where you will sleep," Gannondorf quickly stated, "Time permitting. Good night, sleep tight, don't let the dogs bite." Gannondorf then began to quickly close the door.

"But the sun is still up," Aryll complained. Gannondorf then shut the door.

"But the sun is still up," Gannondorf mocked. He then locked the doors, leaving three very confused orphans.

_I hope you enjoyed. Favorite, follow, so on, and so on._


	4. In Loco Parentis

_I hope that you enjoy the latest exploits of the orphans. Be sure to check out my newest YouTube video._

Now, sometimes, first impressions can be wrong. For example, when Aryll first met Tetra, she did not like her. She did not like her at all. But, later, Aryll and Tetra had set up a mutual relationship for both of them. Aryll would read her books and hide a hacky sack for Tetra to "steal" and take back to Aryll, for her to hide in a new spot. The two of them had loads of fun, playing "thief and girl who hides a hacky sack that's apparently worth 500 rupees" for hours on end.

However, with Count Gannondorf, the three kids were convinced that Count Gannondorf would not be a friend of theirs. And they were correct.

Every day, Count Gannondorf would have a seemingly endless list of chores for the orphans to do, from washing dishes to cleaning the windows to polishing the flower vases to burying what Count Gannondorf calls mannequins that just squirm and yell a few times in his backyard.

And, while they were doing all of this, do you know where Count Gannondorf was? Upstairs, in whatever that huge staircase leads to, doing I don't know what.

The orphans were definitely not happy. But, things finally escalated after a few days when Count Gannondorf returned after a day of being out and about with his actor friends. They were a Hyrulian of indeterminable gender, a hook handed Zora, a grumpy Goron, and a Deku Shrub. There was nothing too special about him. And, on that day, the four friends returned with Count Gannondorf to his home to find Link, Aryll, and Tetra cleaning the floor of the foyer.

"What are you doing," Count Gannondorf asked, "Why haven't you prepared our dinner?"

"Dinner," Aryll asked.

"Yes," Count Gannondorf stated, "It is the meal eaten between lunch and tomorrow's breakfast, usually during the evening."

"Making you dinner wasn't on our chore list," Link responded.

"I would beg to differ," Count Gannondorf stated. He then flipped the chore list over to reveal that it said "Make dinner" on the list. "And please try to have it finished by eight o' clock."

"But it's already seven thirty," Tetra responded.

"Then this should prove to drive you in loco parentis," Count Gannondorf stated.

"But..." Link began.

"Eight o' clock," Count Gannondorf yelled as he clapped his hands. With that, him and his acting friends retired to the rumpus room.

_Favorite and follow all the good stuff you like. :)_


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